FUNNY JOKE: Akpors the Mumu Country Sympathizer

A teacher asked his students, 1+1=? 

A student stood up and said 4.

Akpors who was passing by overheard the answer, shoke his head and said to himself; 

"My God, Jona will kill us in this country‎ o. 

 Everything has increased; Transport Fare, Fuel prices, Foodstuffs, Beer,... Everything. 

Even 1+1 that used to be 2 has now gone up to 4."

ONE Word!

FUNNY JOKE: Akpors in Nigeria for Christmas

After two weeks in Dubai, Akpors
came back to Naija for Christmas, with the
American slang/accent. He flew in
late and while on his way home
was stopped by the men of the
Nigeria Police Force.
"Hey, where u dey go?""

Akpors: What de f*ck do u mean,
Yo talking tu me?

This incited anger in these men
who understands nothing but the
Naija street language (Pidgin). He
was taking to the police station
and put in a cell.

There in the cell,
Akpors kept on ranting and
shouting,"Yo bunch of shits, I gat
the damn right to make a phone
call in this cell. Get me a f*cking
fone!!"

This went on, until a BOSS
(Oga) in the cell told one of his
boys in his husky and thunderous
voice,"Scorpion!!!­­, abeg give this
guy a phone call"
Scorpion headed
straight to Akpors corner and
landed him a THUNDEROUS
SLAP"GBOOOOAAAA­­AAA". The
sound was nothing far from the
sound of a Thunder strike.
(Oga) Boy: "E done
dey ring, abi make I
redial?"

Akpors accent
changed, "Bros abeg, e don
connect".

Remember its Festive season; not all the guys with American accent came from Yanki. Ladies beware.

FUNNY JOKE: Akpors the Money Doubler

Akpors met this girl on fb and they've been
chatting for 6 months now.
Today, he logged in and saw her online,
and started chatting immediately.
Akpors: Hello dear
HER: happy independence.
Akpors: same to u dear
HER: so where is my independence gift?
Akpors: Habba! Big girl like u is asking for
independence gift?.
HER: Abeg oo. Me am nt a big girl oo. U
wnt to deny me independence gift abi?

....Akpors quickly went to buy N500 card and sent the
pin into her chat inbox....
Akpors:Dear manage this pls.
HER: noo, pls am only joking. I will nt take
that.
Akpors: pls pls.
HER: and i refuse. I cnt take anything from
u.

....Akpors quickly loaded the card and transfered it
into her line acct...
HER: u think u are smart eh? ....a minute
later
heard an alert msg tang-tang..''N1000 is
transfered to u from...''
Akpors: whats the meaning of that?
HER: i told u, u shldnt. ...(this girl wan show
me big girl abi?) Akpors used his last N2000 to
buy card, loaded it, making N3000 and sent
it to her.

....Some minutes later, an alert, tang-
tang..''N6000 is transfered to u from....''
chaiii..this girl wan try me? And i dnt hv
any money again!
Akpors called his friend and
borrowed the N6000 he was keeping for his
landlord, told him he will be expecting
N24,000 in the next 5min and will pay him
back...
Akpors quickly buy card of N6000, and sent her the N12,000..and kept his phone close
to his
ear expecting alert...

Ten minutes later, instead of msg alert, it
was a call from her...''Hello dear, jst called to
thank u for the independence gift..we'll
chat later''....

Is Akpors smart or Stupid?

FUNNY JOKE: Akpors the Zombie

A pilot announced, "Ladies & Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggages must be thrown out."
A little later, the pilot says, "We're still losing altitude, we must throw anything out that is in the cabin."
The plane continues it's descent despite more things being thrown out. The pilot announced again, "Still going down, we must throw out some people"
There's a big gasp from the passengers! Then the pilot said, "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
So A, any Africans on board?"
No one moves.
"B, any Blacks on board?"
No one moves.
"C, any Coloureds on board?"
Still no one moves.
"D, any Darkies?"
Akpors who was a little black Nigerian boy asks his dad, "Dad, what are we?"

His Dad replied, "Tonight son, we are Zombies"

FUNNY JOKE: AKPORS OUTSMARTS THE BARBER

Akpors enters a barber shop. The barber
whispers to his customer:

BARBER: This is the dumbest boy in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you. The barber puts a
N50 note in one hand and two N10 notes in the
other, then calls Akpors and says:

BARBER: Which do you want, boy?
AkpoRs takes the two N10 notes and leaves. The
barber turned to his customer and said, you
see, I told you he is really dumb.

CUSTOMER: Well I’m guessing he is just a little
confused now, he can’t make that mistake
twice.

BARBER: I really doubt it, just wait and I’ll prove
it to you again. (The barber calls Akpors back
into the store one more time and offers him the
same deal, once again to the surprise of the
customer, Akpors picked the 2 N10 notes
instead of the N50 note).

BARBER: What did I tell you? AkpoRs never learns!
Minutes later, when the customer left, he sees
Akpors coming out of the ice cream store.

CUSTOMER: Akpors, May I ask you a
question?
You are obviously old enough to know
that 2 N10 notes make up N20 which is less
than N50, why do you keep picking the N10
notes instead?

Akpors smiles and says: That barber is
always so eager to prove to customers that I am
dumb, that's why everyday I get money for ice-cream
from his little game.
The day I take the fifty naira note, the game will definitely be over, so
it’s better I act stupid and collect N20 everyday.